Sometimes... yanno... Life just makes you want to scream... I'm going away on Saturday for a week down the South Island to referee a swim meet... and two days ago the washing machine broke down... for a family that does at least two loads a day sometimes three and four this is a major problem... I have wrenched the fekkin thing from it nesting spot... tossed it on the trailer and rushed it down town for some emergency care stat... I took it to my usual repairer just to be told "no we don't repair washing machines anymore"... well you sell the fekkers and you are the agent for them grrr.... eventualy I found Mickey Mouse Washing Machine Repairs and left my baby in the hands of a cross between the guy in physco and Mr Bean.. ya just know it's not going to be repaired and back in sevice before I go....Another episode.. Just to let you know that life is not all beer and skittles for uppie... at work I had four goats.... culls from a milking herd... brought to my area for weed control... but being goats they walked through all the fences... ring barked some trees.. and generaly made a nuisence of themselves... as for the weeds they continued to grow... one of them died of old age leaving three... the hard choice had to be made.. that is the shooting of the goats... ok ok yes girls we tried to give them away but there were no takers... the workmate who is our site executioner wanted to use his shotgun with solids to dispatch them... as I said to him "this is not a hunt it's an execution.. the success of which will be how clean the kill is.. I do not want you blowing their leggs off with shotty solids (when you miss).. a quick and clean bullet to the head is what we want..." so he came down with his scoped .22...
Did I tell you these goats are quite tame... sigh... that means we could get within ten feet of them and they just looked at us quizically and chewed cudd... (they did not even make a run for it).... he shot the first one... and then quickly the second... while he was lining up the third I noticed that the first one after a bullet to the head had just sat down and was wagging it's tail... (I assume it was just feeling a little dizzy)... after he had shot the third one I pointed out that the first one was lookin pretty good for a goat that had been head shot... so he gave it another one that made it flop over and roll down the hill... we went down the hill to check on them... the third one was a clean one shot kill... the second one was almost had it but we gave it one more point blank just to make sure... as for the first one.. this is the one that had two head shots already... it was still breathing and then gave a sort of sickly "Baaaa"... "jesus" I said to the executioner "this one is still going"... he gave it a point blank to the head... I think this was a goat from the film The Exorcist.. cause it kept breathing and uttered another "Baaa"... so he gave it a forth bullet to the head going in under the jaw and that finished it... thank god... Hell I felt guilty for the rest of the day...
If this was not enough to emotionaly upset me for the week... (I'm not upset about killing the goats.. it was a dirty job but it had to be done.. you just grit your teeth and do it.. but the killing of anything flesh and blood is not pleasant)...Episode 2... we sort of had a pet Possum not really a pet but it had lived in the trees outside our bedroom for a number of years and would eat the lemons and manderins off our fruit trees and climb on the roof of the house occasionaly... they have a hell of a scream by the way... late at night and right outside your bedroom window is a little irritating at times... anyway this is the bad part.. a couple of the neighbourhood dogs got hold of it and mauled it breaking it's back... I chased them off... then I had to get the hammer and finish it off... bashing an animal to death with a hammer is really up close and personal... but again it's grit your teeth and do it.. it still makes me feel a little squishy... at the moment I no longer feel like Uppie The Faithless internet philanderer whose slease aims to please.. but more like Uppie The Murderer.. animal slaughterer.. don't let him loose with a hammer... sigh... Lots of sympathetic emails and maybe a few snail mails with underwear and money enclosed would make me feel way better...
Again I remain Uppie Your Chat God...
