wholly wholly wholly wholly wholly crap!

A little drama in my world recently.... I was sitting at my desk at work... it's 6.30 in the morning and I am having a cup of tea and toast while reading the paper as you do.... the phone rings and it is my wife.. for her to be ringing me instead of being tucked up in bed as is her wont at this hour of the morning means it has to be bad news... The bad news is that my daughters boyfriend has been involved in a car accident earlier that morning and is seriously injured in hospital...I informed my wife that I had heard on the radio on my way to work the details of this accident and that the passenger had been killed... obviously the next thing to find out is whether the passenger was my daughter or not... she was not answering her phone.. the police would not give us any details.. so I spent the next hour waiting to find out if my daughter was dead or not... fortunately she is not... however it was a very stressful hour which took me a couple of days to recover from... just proving that... well... almost every trivial detail in life does not mean shit when compared one major event... the boyfriend is going to recover... saddly he'll have to live with the fact that his driving has killed another person... I just hope my daughter does not have to live with it...

Regrets? .. I've had a few....

Well... here I am and yes it has been a long time... not long enough for some of you... this I know.... as I do understand that I make some people uncomfortable... as you all know things that happen to us in life are not always good and not always bad... most of life is just sheer boredom punctuated by sex, food ... and.. I'm having trouble thinking of anything else... terror comes to mind.... death... thats it sex,food and death... not often our own thankfully...
The point is when I talk to you about the things happening in my life it does not mean I am sad,happy,depressed or manic... it's just whats happening and my spin on it...
Along those lines... I have worked 23 out of the last 25 days I had yesterday off and will be working another 8 days before I have another day off... Yesterday I put the scissors through my credit card... Yes the two are related... I am on pay plus pay and a half at the moment.. in other words I get payed if I work or not.. and when I do work I get time and a half for every hour I work ... as the plant cannot run without me I have my boss over a barrel and am extracting my pound of flesh.... the credit card thing is not so bad.. I only got it as a tempory measure but I have found that it is too easy to use and with my gambling addiction it has become to easy to waste money...
There are times yanno when you have to take stock of your life and take action... it is no use prevaricating.. if things are not right fix them... I have found recently with the children at University that the demands on my time and money have grown to a tipping point... consequently I have stopped running... handed in my resignation as a swimming Referee... cut my credit card in half... and am raping and pillaging the overtime at work... you will have noticed... well those of you who have kept the faith and still talk to me that I have trimmed down my net time... I still have warm and generous thoughts about all of you even you Jerk and I miss some of you terribly..... especially Smiley Lid... but I do know that all of you are in the same boat as me... life is so much shorter (yes we are old) and busier... but it is also better.. I have more worry than I have ever had... I am working harder than ever (not just at work)... but I have more satisfaction and contentment than I ever have... maybe I was just a sad bastard when I was young who knows and who cares... I do know I was a sad bastard... with more emphasis on the bastard..
I was reading an artical the other day written by a woman in her 70's on being old... one thing she said that resonated with me... "there are things I no longer have in my life, things I used to love doing, like sex... but it is not to be mourned"... thats a great way to live..
I was looking at baby photo's of my children... well baby and up to intermediate school age.. thats 12 to 13 for you lot... and I wondered why they had to grow up.. the thought that came to mind was "that they were so much more controlable back then"... you fed them, put them to bed and sent them to school.... it's the loss of control that irritates... another thing not to be mourned...
They are all doing well at University getting merits for assignments and A's for exams... hopefully that will continue... I have been enrolled by work in a Diploma course entitled "Manufacturing Management"... something I have no interest in.. but if it makes the boss happy I will do it.. and I know I will enjoy the process...
I was going to tell you some other more meaningfull stuff... but it's half 2 in the morning and my brain is slipping cogs... I must get a notebookand write my ideas down... never mind you are my captive audience and you know I will be back..
Cheers Uppie