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Good evening to all of you.. long time no bullshit... something happened the other day that was reasonably exciting... I was sitting in my hutt, as I am wont to do when working, shooting the breeze with a fellow slacker.. he was gazing dreamily out the window which is his wont... He says... 'Hey there is this guy coming this way:I say... 'Yea?'... with just a hint of interest... as I take a big bite of my vegemite toast and a slurp of hot tea to make it soggy..'It must be important... he's running'... he says...This gets my attention so I arise from my at rest position and go outside to meet the unwanted visitor...'There is something smouldering down there'... he says...This guy is just full of info... I raise my eyes and stare intently.. well not so much intently but with intention down to where his truck is unloading unmentionable crapp under the cover of the methane gas producing pond (the cover is there to collect the gas, the importance of this will soon become apparent)...Yes indeed I do see a whisp of smoke?, steam? maybe coming from the covers... it's about fifty yards away...I start to wander down there to see what is going on... after taking ten or so steps it occurs to me, as an after thought of course that maybe I should take a couple of fire extinguishers down there so I turn back to get them...When I grab them and re emerge from the hutt I take note that there is now thick black smoke visible in the problem area...So there I am running down the road with a fire extinguisher swinging from each arm and feeling slightly silly... as I get closer I can hear the snap crackle and pop...The cover of the pond right where the outload pipe goes underneath it is blazing... a foot away is a large bubble of methane gas...I no longer feel silly...'please don't explode while I'm doing this' I sort of pray... I rip the locking pin from the extinguisher and give it the whole cannister... long after the flames have gone out... just to make sure it does not reignite...'Thats great' I'm feeling... the fire is out.. nobody knows.. how can I go about covering this event up...It's then that I notice the drivers mate running a water hose on his face to my left...'Are you burnt?' I enquire with a sinking heart... I know he's burnt... oh man the shit is gunna hit the fan now... 'How bad is it?' I still have faint hope...I notice the skin peeling off his face and hands... time for 111 or in your guys case 911... kinda spookie really...As it turns out he is not badly burned... though he did get sacked.. it seems he sat in the gas stream which was flowing out around inload pipe and lit a ciggerette... the 'NO SMOKING METHANE GAS' sign was not noticed... The upshot or outcome of all this was that I became a rather heroic figure (for five minutes) and they gave me a George Foreman grill as a reward... Thank you for your attention...
Good morning... today I would like to opine on the "empty nest" syndrome... The disease may have somewhat maudlin effects but the symptoms are actually beneficial... as you all know I am a breeder of some renown not only by performance but also evidenced in the results visa vie multiple birth... So my nest went from full to empty literally overnight... though it did take a little bit of cruelty to stop them coming back every weekend for a visit and a bludge... I even managed to convince one boy to exile himself to Korea hopefully he will form an attachment and breed over there... Symptoms... yes ... well... I know this will not ring a bell with any of you anti mom's and spinsters out there.... though in the house of Fluff this equates to the second coming of Christ and as for you Diego this is like a relationship that goes beyond leather and lace and fake money stuffed between a G-string and your desire... no this symptom even astounded me when I took note of it... there is a half eaten block of chocolate in the pantry... totally exposed... come on Mommies you know how we hide these things... it has been there for a week... yes astoundingly not overnight... not for a couple of days cause someone put it behind the rice... but a whole week... there is also three... yes count them... three... half eaten tubs of ice-cream in the freezer and they have been there for at least a month... partly because two of them are crappy kids flavours... but still... Last night the wife opened a packet of potato crisps and half the packet is still there this morning...So if I want to eat potato crisps dipped in crappy kids flavoured ice-cream washed down with half a bar of stale chocolate for breakfast I can!!! Because I am empty nester.... sigh... maybe I'll just go over to Hamilton and give my daughter some money.... much more rewarding...signing off... Uppie the Faithless... god to... nah just faithless...
Good morning... it's hard to know where to start... cause I do these things so infrequently now... one, I may have told you this stuff already and two, one whine is being a bore but whining twice over the same subject is unforgivable and three, ranting on about your children's actions or inaction is only of interest to the parent of the child concerned... So in conclusion the scope of these updates is to provide examples of life's inanities and the purpose is to provide amusement... Inanity one. I have realised that I have one set of bed linen that I find comfortable the only time this set is not on the bed is when it is getting washed then I have to endure another set while the favourite is washing and drying... if I can do it I will wash and dry the favourite set in one day and return it to the bed... I will be attempting this trick today... do any of you suffer from this condition... Inanity two. Sorry I did have one but I have forgotten what it is...and finally is inanity a word I must look it up...
Where to start..... I don't think I mentioned in my last riveting update... that I have a boy holidaying in Korea... he is 18 and one of the triplets... he did a year of university but decided it was not for him... to celebrate this career enhancing decision he chose to take up a long standing invitation from an exchange student from Korea that he has been friends with for years... it was about this time that I discovered that my boy had saved about seven thousand dollars... for a kid that has never had a permanent job or even full time employment this is a sizable sum.. I'm looking at my own bank balance and realize that he has been grazing and accommodating himself at my expense... hmmm... The boy he is going with has been coming to New Zealand for three years and is a seasoned and confident traveller and obviously his parents are reasonably wealthy as they would not be able to send their child to New Zealand year after year for his education... Wiremu has been enjoying his holiday and grazing and accommodating himself at someone else's expense... good boy.... In The last week I have had to withdraw from two swim meets as we had a death in the Family.. this was the cot death of my nephews month old baby... a very sad affair... the tangi was over two days and involved allot of cooking and cleaning as we catered to the 60 or so family members that arrived to pay their respects... after one days break yesterday we moved daughter number 2 into her flat in Auckland in preparation for the start of her second university year... this involved a three hour journey there and back towing a large trailer filled with... ahhh ... well filled with all the stuff that a girl needs... to give you a handle on just what a girl needs there was one entire suitcase devoted to underwear and pyjamas'... (insert male incredulous look here).. so we lugged the furniture hung the curtains paid the bond and rent shopped her some supplies and returned home... It's a very nice flat she has having been painted,carpeted and with a new kitchen and bathroom... we had brought her up the previous week to search for a place and was shocked but nor really surprised at the appalling conditions and the prices expected for those conditions... we learned that "character Cottage" really meant converted chicken coup with shit removed but not much else... It was a good day though because we got the girl a flat a part time job and a car all in that one day... The car is a Toyota Curren,silver,sports kitted two door coupe,just what a young girl with a suitcase of pyjama's and underwear needs to get her around town... next monday I fly down to Christ church to referee a national swim meet and am looking forward to the break away... A big hello to you all... Fluffy I am still out here and looking forward to seeing you online... if on the rare occasions I am you are too... Maureen it was good camming with you... even though Randy called me a perve and told me to put my shirt back on... ask him if he wanted me to put my pants back on as well... snicker snicker... Diego my faithful friend Hola... Jerk I tried to get into the Bootery will try again today... though during the typing of the email I have been moofed four times... it all looks reformatted and the only thread I recognised was the time one... Ivana you'll have to pass that on to Jerk...lastly one of these years I am coming to Las Vegas... I'll let you know when...
Good evening to you all... first apologies to all of you who expect regular "uppiedates" to enhance and invigorate your internet lifestyles... and a snigger for those of you who thought I had gone for good... I have not been online for ages and for the past three weeks .. hmm in fact longer.. I have been promising myself to get online and at least update... and here I am... ok by the numbers..1. We organised and had the eldest boys 21st.2. We organised and ran a family christmas.3. The mother inlaw got cancer had an operation and spent a couple of months bed ridden.4. We had a little car accident with each other and the fleet is now reduced to three vehicles as opposed to five.5. I seem to be having a mid life crisis.6. Bought a $5,000 dollar lounger suite.1. 21st birthday went well.. did the key thing... cooked for a hundred fed about fifty... did the speech thing... had a party.. 20- something's behave way better than 16 year olds... the triplets 16th party was way worse as far as control and vomiting was concerned.2. Since the 21st went so well and because of the mother in laws sickness we decided to not put the tools away and do it all again for christmas... again it was controlled relaxing and fun...3. This meant endless trips to hospital (which is an hour away for us)... and a lot of care and attention being demanding on our time... luckily they have got it all and so far she is free and clear... and back to being frail and old as opposed to bed ridden sick and frail and old...4. The boys car broke down ... we went to tow it home... the wife sort of missed the brake as we slowed for an intersection and decided to overtake me on the inside... I saw her departing from the rear vision mirror and foolishly thought maybe I better stop... of course she over ran the tow rope which wrapped around the front wheel swinging her sideways like a pendulum and then as the rope shortened wack into the side of the big car... when I heard her story about brake failure (not) I made no comment about women and their driving abilities and certainly did not swear and grizzle...5. I cannot comment on this one as I'm still doing it?6. I told the wife I was buying a new lounge suite and that if she did not want to get one she did not like she better come along and be part of the process. After an amicable discussion over the merits of making such a purchase. She realised in the end that she had no choice but to attend the event. I had intended to spend up to $3,000 dollars. After refusing to even agree to spending any money at all... and then only coming along under sufferance... she rings her sister from the furniture emporium to attend and help her decide... we bought the $5,000 one...
good girl Kiri....
Good evening to all of you.. long time no bullshit... something happened the other day that was reasonably exciting... I was sitting in my hutt, as I am wont to do when working, shooting the breeze with a fellow slacker.. he was gazing dreamily out the window which is his wont... 
