Uppies State of the Union Adress

Good morning to you all... as most of you would know Uppie considers himself a minor philosopher and often ponders life the universe and women in particular.. you will have to forgive me refering to myself in the third person but there are two of us Uppie and me.. when our opinions converge I will use the royal "we"... anyway we were listening to the radio the other day.. it's a station called "National Radio" it is totaly funded by the government and therefore add free you can also get it on the net.. so if you want to hear weird New Zealand music and all the political and social comment totaly search it up and have a listen... they have an afternoon forum where a panel of minor celebraties yanno the type.. they think they own the world because they have been on TV... anyway there was this woman on who is a private detective... her claim to fame is that she featured in a tacky series sneaking around chasing wandering spouses.. now whenever the press want comment on the behaviour and sexuality of the unfaithful they refer to her and she opines in a way that demonstrates her way with crass.. she was whining about the lack of men her age (she is 53) who look after themselves physicaly and present themselves cleanshaven, tanned, taut and moisturized.. as she said she is single and looking... Well as you know my opinion of her is low.. I felt like screaming at the radio... "Darling" I say in a syrupy, faggoty way with a hint of k at the end... "darling, a well preserved, intelligent and loving man does not want a brassy, boosted. bo-toxed, big mouthed bottled blond with shriveled lips a heart to match and hip bones where her ass should be"... I think that about covers it all.. I like to make my rants short and sharp.. well thats my thought for the day... Enjoy your day no matter what happens... Salutations from Uppie and I... I'm the tanned taut etc etc he is the pig...