Friday, June 10, 2005

whipped and loving it

this is going to be a sort of rambling uppie thing.... with no punctuation crappy grammar.. in other words just the usual shit typed in a hurry behind the wife's back...it's also late... a couple of weeks back we loaded up the truck and went to Auckland... yes the okauia hill billies went to the big city.. ostensibly to purchase gowns for the girls as they are about to attend their college ball... in reality it was an excuse for uppie and Mrs. uppie to gamble the night away at the casino.... which we did till two in the morning.... we left the triplets at Kiri's sisters place... lucky we were staying there as Kiri's sister had woke us up the next morning... dragging our weary and bleary asses out of bed.... after a quick shower and breakfast.. we loaded up the van with aunty triplets and cousins .. oh and phonebook for dress shop addresses and headed into town... this was my first shopping trip with women.. i tell you all now it is also my last... girl tries on dress.. girl asks father what he's thinks... father says yes buy that one... girls starts to um and err... aunty turns up with another 5 more 1000 dollars dresses to try on... after an hour of this father starts staring wistfully at the cozy little casino bar across the street... then and i mean an " oh for gods sake " then ... we drive across town to restart the whole process at another dress shop.. then another.. then it's lunchtime at some mall which luckily does not have a suitable dress shop... and sadly no casino bar... by this time i'm punch drunk... i throw my wallet at the women and plead.. " buy something "... " anything "... and after another 3 hours they do... i must say the girls look good and it only cost 800 dollars for the two dresses... though they are one time wear dresses... it was then dump the triplets with the cousins.. and aunty and kiri and i went back to the casino to try and recoup last nights losses and pay for the dresses.. which thankfully... although we did not win enough to pay for the dresses we got back our losses and won a couple of hundred which paid the weekends food and petrol expenses... the last funny thing that happened at the casino was.. well i ballsed up the parking ticket and had to return to the casino to get it fixed while the women waited in the car fuming.. you know how women are... anyway being the gambling addict i am i could not resist dropping some coins in a machine that said "play me"... as you know all machines say this.. anyway after two spins the bastard gave me another 130 dollars.. i cashed this and then ran out of the place... the 130 buckaroos placated the fuming women... then it was drive all night to return too the green acres we call home..... i will repeat for all you women and for all you men to take note of.. do not get dragged into a shopping trip for dresses for women by women... enlist.. go to war... anything..
cheers uppie

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