happy new years?

This is the second time I have sat down in front of the computor to write this... early this morning the computor would not connect to the ISP so I went back to bed for a "moi'.. this is Maori for sleep.. I am just trying to think of an english word to give you an idea of the pronounciation it's sort of like... "more... ee" but say it really fast... as you are all probably aware Christmas has been and gone... which is how I like it being the christmas Grinch and all... I worked christmas and boxing day and over the four days eg sat, sun, mon, tues I ran four ten k runs to burn off the the extra food intake... Christmas for me usually means the onset of a black depression which makes it really hard to function as the Happy Christmas wanderer that most people expect at this time of year... I seemed to have avoided the dark cloud and functioned at the minimal level required this year... a big Woot as the Messican would say... We seem to be trapped as a society in this western capitalist greed loop where our economy must grow to provide the wealth and materials with which we can survive and find pleasure... the only other alternative is this communist penuary where the greedy find other means to gain the wealth and materials they require... the problem with continuous growth is when does it stop... you cannot have an annual 5% growth in population, housing, energy consumption, demand for food and any other 5% on 5% consumption year after year after year... when the water that we need to drink and the air we need to breath finally runs out... what then? death I spose and on a scale humankind has never experienced.. I fear that this will occur in our childrens lifetime and certainly in our grandchildrens time... what we need is a managed shrinking of the economy a reduction of population and demand on resources that will ensure a balanced ecological economy... this will not happen under our present system or under a communist system as quite frankly a system change means a loss of wealth and power that the rich and powerful will just not allow.....

hmmm on a lighter note... twas the day before christmas and all about the house.. nothing was upsetting everything was grouse.. I went to the mailbox for the paper to read.. and there with the bills was a letter for me... Holy sweet weeping Jeebus... it was from Cranky you see... a card from the Crank I opened it with care... no fish hooks.. no white powder.. no strontium 14... It was a card.. a christmas card.. it brought a tear to my eye... then I looked over my shoulder...

Question girl... when did I give you my address ?... does this mean you fancy me ?... how come there was no money in it ?

Uppie wishes you all a very merry Christmas.. (yea right I mean it) and a Happy New Year...

note to the rest of you.. take the hint about the money... and Jerk it's not so hard to send Uppie card is it... but then again do not expect one back... Cheers all.

Are Uppies kids named "The blonde one", "The Tall One", etc etc.??

Good morning... Hola..... to all of you... it is I... the orange fonted crusader... seeker of justice... internet eco warrior.. defender of the faith... (my faith incidentaly)... and geuine all round good guy... I could say that this is a busy time of year but really for me it is a busy time of my life... so much is happening or should I say needing to happen that I have just become snowed under with stuff.... I just flounder along and do the best I can... you will have noticed those of you are Bootery members that I am having a little break from work... yes I'm posting in the com a sure sign that I'm not at work... I'm having four days off in a row.. this being my last day.... the first two days we went... sort of as a family... because the girls brought their boyfriends with them... to the beach... we stayed with another family who own a million dollar beach house mansion.. complete with plasma TV .. a walk across the sand dunes to a white sand private beach... a boat to go fishing... etc etc... it was a couple of days of good weather.. good food and sun...

As for the children they are at the stage of playing at adults but not left home yet which is most irritating... the triplets have graduated from high school... and have enrolled at University... so it has been an endless round of graduation dinners.. prize givings... christmas breakups... yanno sometimes I would like to do some christmas neck breaking.. sorry for that violent impulse... the girls scooped a fair number of trophies and awards.. which was nice... and the blonde one won a thousand dollar scholarship... when I was at school I got nothing.... does the term loser apply here.. I think so... I hope the girls do well.. but as you all know life is long and many things can happen which open and more often close the doors of opportunity.. the trick I think is to roll with the punches and use the current to advantage... Holly sent me her usual christmas card... to which I will never get round to replying too.. she called me the christmas grinch... I did not realize I was that obvious... ahh well it is too late for me to change now... at times I wonder at people who change their jobs .. divorce and remarry.. or otherwise embark on a course of huge disruption to their life... good on you... but not for me..

just a last note to those of you who have my yahoo email address.. or details or what ever... I posted a whole lot of photo's in the 360 yahoo thingy... this is for you Kayla I posted pics of my oldest boy.. the ones I promised you but could never get to you... I could not open them and look at them myself... but I know they are there... so if you want to view them and know how to do it... go look .. I think my addy is.... upaut2000@yahoo.com wow it went blue that must be it... I hardly ever open my yahoo account so if you leave me a message there I might read it in five years time...

I conducted a swimming seminar last night.. which involved introducing people new to officiating and giving them basic training... public speaking is not something I am good at but hell I no longer care what people think... yanno sometimes I wonder why I get my self into all this stuff.... yanno I just noticed when I start to whine I prefix it with a yanno... please in reply to this rubbish could you respond with a critique of my faults.. maybe it will stop me writing to you....

Cheers and a very Merry Christmas to you all... Uppie

yawn?

Good morning.... It certainly has been a while... I really am beginning to wonder what is going on with my life... if this is old age ... well dam it it sucks... when I was younger .. and that is not that much younger... I built a house and I mean dug the foundations mixed and poured the concrete... hammer and nailed... the plumbing the electrical stuff etc etc.. worked full time and looked after triplets.. these days I barely have time to eat sleep and work... The house gets the bare minimum as far as cleaning goes and it is in dire need of a paint and tidy... hopefully today I will get time to do something in that area... I do not even have time to sit at the computor and play... hell with my connection I sometimes do not even wait for the dam thing to logg on to the net as it takes too long...

Whew I seem to be lurching towards full rant mode.. or at least whine whine whiney bastard... I do have people dying of cancer all around me.. so really whats there to whine about... and I have been recieving complaints about "boring Uppiedates" well that was from Jerk... those of you who know the big fellah understand that he is the King of Grump.... But then life is full of tedium... which we rail against as teenagers filling our spare time with drink, druggs and sex to somehow make us feel it's worth taking that next breath... for me I just do stuff... and try to keep interested... I might have done my last marathon... it was in Auckland last weekend.. it was not so bad .. these things have become a bit of a routine... the wife and I stayed in a flash hotel (opposite the Casino of course) so we ate well, gambled, had sex.. (well I did any way)... and then I got up early the next morning and wore myself out... the reason it might be my last is not because of the run... it's the aftermath... the run went reasonably well and I finished in my best time yet... however I was really sick afterwards.. and the damage especially to the feet just does not seem worth it at times..

Crikey what a maudlin date with uppie this lot is... I might have to take Jerks advice on board... anyway to all you out there... the fifty personalities that make up the sum total of Uppies on line adventures... may the sun shine on most of you... (not you Jerk)... the gods be good... and enjoy the life we all have left..

Uppie

Man, Machine & Mauler

Sometimes... yanno... Life just makes you want to scream... I'm going away on Saturday for a week down the South Island to referee a swim meet... and two days ago the washing machine broke down... for a family that does at least two loads a day sometimes three and four this is a major problem... I have wrenched the fekkin thing from it nesting spot... tossed it on the trailer and rushed it down town for some emergency care stat... I took it to my usual repairer just to be told "no we don't repair washing machines anymore"... well you sell the fekkers and you are the agent for them grrr.... eventualy I found Mickey Mouse Washing Machine Repairs and left my baby in the hands of a cross between the guy in physco and Mr Bean.. ya just know it's not going to be repaired and back in sevice before I go....
Another episode.. Just to let you know that life is not all beer and skittles for uppie... at work I had four goats.... culls from a milking herd... brought to my area for weed control... but being goats they walked through all the fences... ring barked some trees.. and generaly made a nuisence of themselves... as for the weeds they continued to grow... one of them died of old age leaving three... the hard choice had to be made.. that is the shooting of the goats... ok ok yes girls we tried to give them away but there were no takers... the workmate who is our site executioner wanted to use his shotgun with solids to dispatch them... as I said to him "this is not a hunt it's an execution.. the success of which will be how clean the kill is.. I do not want you blowing their leggs off with shotty solids (when you miss).. a quick and clean bullet to the head is what we want..." so he came down with his scoped .22...
Did I tell you these goats are quite tame... sigh... that means we could get within ten feet of them and they just looked at us quizically and chewed cudd... (they did not even make a run for it).... he shot the first one... and then quickly the second... while he was lining up the third I noticed that the first one after a bullet to the head had just sat down and was wagging it's tail... (I assume it was just feeling a little dizzy)... after he had shot the third one I pointed out that the first one was lookin pretty good for a goat that had been head shot... so he gave it another one that made it flop over and roll down the hill... we went down the hill to check on them... the third one was a clean one shot kill... the second one was almost had it but we gave it one more point blank just to make sure... as for the first one.. this is the one that had two head shots already... it was still breathing and then gave a sort of sickly "Baaaa"... "jesus" I said to the executioner "this one is still going"... he gave it a point blank to the head... I think this was a goat from the film The Exorcist.. cause it kept breathing and uttered another "Baaa"... so he gave it a forth bullet to the head going in under the jaw and that finished it... thank god... Hell I felt guilty for the rest of the day...
If this was not enough to emotionaly upset me for the week... (I'm not upset about killing the goats.. it was a dirty job but it had to be done.. you just grit your teeth and do it.. but the killing of anything flesh and blood is not pleasant)...Episode 2... we sort of had a pet Possum not really a pet but it had lived in the trees outside our bedroom for a number of years and would eat the lemons and manderins off our fruit trees and climb on the roof of the house occasionaly... they have a hell of a scream by the way... late at night and right outside your bedroom window is a little irritating at times... anyway this is the bad part.. a couple of the neighbourhood dogs got hold of it and mauled it breaking it's back... I chased them off... then I had to get the hammer and finish it off... bashing an animal to death with a hammer is really up close and personal... but again it's grit your teeth and do it.. it still makes me feel a little squishy... at the moment I no longer feel like Uppie The Faithless internet philanderer whose slease aims to please.. but more like Uppie The Murderer.. animal slaughterer.. don't let him loose with a hammer... sigh... Lots of sympathetic emails and maybe a few snail mails with underwear and money enclosed would make me feel way better...
Again I remain Uppie Your Chat God...

What about "Hide The Bone", Uppie?....Thats always fun!

Well this missive has been a long time in gestation ... it's not so much that nothing has been happening but that I have not had time to sit down and bash away at the keys... for a start the children tend to dominate the available computor time and scondly I have been working long hours and have tended to go to bed early... ok let me take you back in time a little... some of you will be aware that I am quite involved with my Union... I'm on the National Executive which is the body that runs the show... we have had a piece of nasty anti-worker legislation that was being pushed through parliment... so a group of us from the Dairy Workers Union hired a bus, road tripped down to Wellington and took part in a protest against the introduction of this proposed law... Our Union is rather well off so basicaly it was a couple of days off work.. a night in a nice hotel in the big city... wave some banners and yell abuse at politicians and back home again... well bloody hell the bus trip took 12 hours on the way down... the bus had no working heaters or demister for the windscreen... it was raining, cold and wet... hello I thought... heello... then I tried to sleep.. It was a great trip the company was great... plenty of stops for food drink and gambling... and the protest was alot of fun... it's amazing what grown adults will do to keep themselves amused... one guy earned the nicname 0800 spankie... and the girls from Puhoi were... well... hardout... but never mind what goes on tour stays on tour...

I seem to have been all over the place lately ... I ran a half marathon in Taupo again in wet, cold and windy condtions... though again I enjoyed it for some reason... and last weekend we took the triplet boy up to Auckland to drop him off on the Spirit of Adventure which is a three masted sloop a sailing ship which takes 40 trainees (20 male 20 female) for 9 days of sailing and adventure around the coast of New Zealand... it cost 900 dollars to get him on board but I think it will be an experience he will benefit from... I must say though that I spent five minutes on board checking out the ship and it's accomodation and I got awefully seasick... and the dam boat was still tied up to the dock... I hope the boy is ok cause they were allowed no cell phones and we have been out of touch for the whole nine days.. I think they ban the cell phones so that they cannot ring their parents and grizzle... the wife is traveling to Auckland tomorrow to pick him up... I am not going because I have the regional swimming AGM and I have to work..

while she is there she is taking the brainy daughter triplet for an interview / introduction to Auckland University as she is applying for a place to study for a health sciences degree... this is a restricted course but she has the marks to ensure her selection and the drive and personality to be successful... well I hope anyway...

The girls have been away all week at the National Secondry Schools Netball Tournament the wife has been going over the hill to watch them play but I have not ... (because of work again).. they won 6 games and lost 3 in their pool and came 17th overall out of 60 teams.. not too bad but they probably could have done a little better.. this has meant only the wife and I home this week... sort of weird really cooking for two seems pointless... and the dog is only so much fun... once you have chased him round the house a couple of time played tug of war with his favourite toys and let him bite and chew your hands and feet.. well there is not much more you can do with him.. (no suggestions Fiend)..

Generally... my health is good.. finnancially it's bonus time and spare cash is floating around the bank accounts... (I must stop gambling it away) so apart from feeling old and bored things are good in the land of Uppie.. hope you are all well and reasonably happy... and I will try and be more uppie dating in future...

Cheers Uppie....

Forecast for this Summer....

Goodmorning to you all... first the weather... currently we are enduring and enjoying a sustained period of cold in New Zealand... for the past two weeks we have had clear skies which means low temperatures in the morning accompanied by frost and warm sunny afternoons.. infact perfect winter weather.. as you know I like to proselytize you from a position of moral rectitude.. and since... due to the vagries of MSN your numbers are restricted to fifty you can regard yourselves and indeed I regard you as the chosen ones... hence proselytes you are... though I fondly think of you as acolytes...

Enough... lets get to todays sermon from the mount.... well really it is a bunch of shit from the kitchen... but hey it's my rant... (so block me)... for the last couple of days and for the next couple the girls of the family.. (well two girls and an old woman).. are away down south attending the National Agegroup Netball Champs... and I.. due to finnancial considerations am at home minding the fort.. so to speak.. because dammit I like to speak... let me here and now apologise for being so unsufferable this morning.. a bit like Mech on a bad day.. ok.. I am getting to the point.. the point is .. women... (old and young) are ... I was going to use an unacceptable pejorative.. let me see... umm ... are untidy vixens... women wear numerous unnecessary items of clothing to protect, support, conceal, cover and then some more items draped just because they look good... (these all need washing girls)... they spend inordinate amounts of time toileting.. (without equal amounts of time cleaning up after).. they also demand meals cooked and on the table when they arrive home... (but they never arrive home at the expected time)... and then they pick at their food.. declare their lack of appetite and return to toileting..

I cleaned the bathroom yesterday... and this morning when I cleaned my teeth it was still clean... no hair clips.. hairbrushes... shaving equipment and assorted body hair.. no wet towels and dirty unerwear strewn about the floor... ok so guys don't bathe that often... but hell let me suggest you girls bathe to often... I did have huge amounts of washing and folding of clothes initialy.. but by the third day even with me changing the beds and washing sheets the flood is now a trickle......hell If I did not have the friggin dog I would not even have to vaccum... the fire is lit and soon the sunday paper will be in... dam I'm bored...

Vote For The Burning Ring O' Fire!

Hey Y'all.. It is I Uppie... sorry bout the southern accent.. but I'm trying to change my image.. and be more user friendly if y'all know what I mean.. I went to Wellington for a Trans Tasman Food Union Seminar.. where I got to shake the Prime Ministers hand... this was ok but y'all know I'm not a schmoozer... for the past week I have been in Rotorua... which is the tourist capital of New Zealand attending the Dairy Workers Union congress... this is where all the site delegates from across the country get together for a week to discuss and vote on policy, rules and the money side of the Union and to listen to various speakers... one of those was again the Prime Minister... I am already on the National Executive of the Union and next year the role of President comes up for grabbs... I will prolly end up as Vice President.. it depends how and who runs for the top job... I have been campaigning for this position for the last two years... did I mention I'm not a schmoozer... shite ... well I have been for this but in an honest way... I also watched Walk The Line a movie about the early life of Johnny Cash it was very good... well worth watching... I even watched the director dirge where he comments on the movie... loved it... anyway gotta take a kid to work
ciao all

THE WORLDS SHORTEST BLOG ENTRY!!!

Good evening to you all ... as you will know.. or as you will soon know another year has passed by and it is ball time again... it's buy the dress .. do the make up.. buy a suit... shave... hair styles etc etc.. here they are... as I post they are leaving the house.. well two have the second girls boyfriend is late.... weell not late yet... but if he is not here soon they will be... grrrrr... cherrs all Uppie

"excuse me while I extract my thumb from his mouth..."???

So much has been happening lately it's hard to know where to start... firstly I have been away in Rotorua for three days working, as a member of our Unions Claims Committee on the claims we are putting forward for this years negotiations... people pretty much submit claims telling us what they think we should ask for and we go through them, toss most aside then formulate the ones we think have merit into a negotiable format.. it always amazes me how naieve, selfish and downright stupid most people are... In the midst of all this I had to deal with an ageing dog, she had lost the ability to walk though was not in any pain... I took her to the vet and his advice was to put her down... which was the right thing to do... but I lugged the dog back home for one last week so that the rest of the family could get used to the fact that this was it for the dog... it was really tough to set the execution day and then take her to town and carry out the sentence... It cost three hundred dollars to turn her into a small cardboard box of ashes... (the family insisted on cremation).. I had offered to shoot her for free... saddly and this is a comment on human nature... we were burgled in the week following the dogs demise... someone... obviously who knew... snuck into the house inbetween me leaving for work and the rest of them getting up for school and such like and rifled the wifes purse taking money and credit cards.... we now have a new dog... it's a miniture fox terrier we have named "Sarge" he is sitting in my lap as I type slobbering on the keyboard... excuse me while I extract my thumb from his mouth... it's amazing how the new puppie has changed the family dynamic and has cheered people up and got them relating to each other.... it even makes the poo's and wee's bearable... though I almost have him toilet trained.. as for the rest of life in general.. well I used to read about the vagries of old age and think to myself how can that be possible.. but now I am living the dream so to speak.. I did not think old age started at 40 but there you go... good luck to you all and good life.. Uppie your chat god... aged

N.Z. airwaves contain HIGH quantities of NON-Internet stuff

This is just to let all you people know... well those of you that have noticed and are interested know... why uppie your chat god had not been online for ten days or so... as you know I live in New Zealand.. yes thats right.. the place where they have no broadband... well we call it broardband but you would laugh at the speed of it... but worse than this our monopoly teleco has let the old copper wires fall into such disrepair that even the phonelines which provide dial up connections are failing... I have a 56k modem the best speed I have ever had out of my good phoneline is 42k's and that was at 3 in the morning... yes thats right I have two phonelines... one totaly devoted to the comp that will only run at 28k's tops.. this line has failed three times on me... the reason I have been away is that both lines failed and it took ten days to repair...

Anyway enough ranting... another sort of weird thing that happened to me the other day... I was sitting with three other co-workers... just jawboning.. this was in the store... the office where we pick up all our supplies.. next thing there is a bang bang bang on the window... and this woman is out there yowling like a wounded dog... asking for someone to take her home as her kid is dead.... it was really bad you never want to hear another person like that... anyway Gloria jumps up takes her in hand and rushes her home... the rest of us are sitting there .. sort of stunned.... feeling like crap... wondering WTF... five minutes later we got a call... panick over it's the cat that is dead not the boy.... the boys name is peke prnounced sort of like pickie... the cats name was pinkie... her younger kid rang up screaming and wailing that pinkie had been run over and was dead... talk about misscomunication... any way when we heard I said "what do you mean the fucking cat"... Gloria told me that was exactly what this woman said to her kid when she got home...

Cheers

Uppie

Does Uppie have a thing for self-induced vomitting or something?

There has just been one event to occupy my thoughts of late and that has been the marathon... the training has been intense and a little wearing... but the result was worth it... I ran yesterday and completed the event in a time of 4 hours 27 minutes... my previous best time was 5 hours 11 minutes... the four hours 27, to give you some perspective, means I was part of the pack... back of the pack mind you but at least part of it...

I ran non stop through the 36 k maker broke down... (that means got tired and walked) started running again and ran through the 37 k marker then broke down again... I walked to just before the 39 k marker took time out to vomit.. then ran hard the last 3 k's to the finish line... however there has been some serious physical damage and I expect to lose a toenail or three.. maybe more... ...

Ouch Uppie

Uppie Supports MASS Hair Spray Useage

hello all it is I Uppie the lord of the orange font... nothing much happening here besides hard work... though swimming has finished for the year... next weekend is Rotorua Marathon time.. and I have been training hard... hopefully this will be my year... the wife... you will notice the chattel slant to that statement... the car, the dog, the kids, the wife.. well she is away for seven days.. this being day six... it's not bad yanno being single... no moaning and whining... great nights sleep... and and and .. weeeelll it is a little lonely and the remaining kids keep coming to me and asking for stuff... she is in Christchurch (thats down the south island) with the swimming daughter at the Youth and Opens Swim Champs... the girl made a final in the 50 freestyle with a PB and did another PB in the final though did not get into the medals... PB by the way means personal best in reference to the time she swam the event in... sheesh keep up will ya.. global warming is very good for me and I want more of it... last year when I was doing early morning runs it was about cold enough to numb the fingers and other bits... but this year it is like a late summer here.. it is very warm... a big thankyou to fluffy bum and holly hock for the easter cards you sent me... as for the rest of you net bums... get with the programme ... dinner is bubbling on the stove and I have a last evening of peace and quiet before the wife returns... ciao for now and take care of yourselves..
Uppie...

You got to know when to holdum

Just a quick few words... Guru has been teaching me about computers... the other day I did 12 hour download... yes thats right my comp ran for 12 hours without hesitation, constipation, masturbation or any other breakdown.. then when I went to run the program... it went error message... I clicked ok... poof download gone.. all I asked Guru was "is the file still in my system somewhere" ? ... I now have full instructions for replacing my hard drive (with pictures).. thanks Guru if I cock this up I'll have no comp.. so why worry about a lost file... also I went to the casino the other day.. lost $200 dollars.. wife gave me another 100 and I won back my 200 that I had lost... then I sat down at texas holdem (this is for you Jerk) and lost 75 dollars in two hands... I got a pair of jacks in my hand picked up a pair of fours on the flop... bet hard... this asshole got a flush on the river... second hand I had ace king in my hand.. picked up another ace king on the flop... same asshole had a pair of fives in his hand which he bet hard on from the start... and he picked up another five in the flop... it was a 5 and ten table they were big pots... sigh..

thats all for now... Uppie

NEW ZEALAND SLOT-MACHINES CAN ACCESS THE INTERNET!!!!!

Greetings to all... I'm sitting here in Taupo... thats a sort of tourist town about an hour and a halfs drive away from home I'm at the four day swim meet I told you about... it's 05.22 in the morning and I am staying in a rather swish motor camp just across from the swimming pool and guess what they have broadband internet... I just love going click click click ... however they are charging me 2 dollars for 14 minutes of net time and I just had to put in another 2 dollar coin... I'm staying with one other man and two women in a very and I mean VERY cozy cabin... let me tell you I have seen enough ageing female flesh to last me a lifetime.. I now only want to see my wifes sagging bits... been eating like a peeg ... and oh gambling hard as well so far I am ahead I have paid for all the accommodation the food and the entertainment.. and I still have more money than I started with... cuddly has just informed me that there is scandal on the Bootery boards about Fiend and I something about tonuges this will cost me another two dollars to go and have a look...
must go money running out ... Uppie

*splash*

A very Irish good morning to you all... I say this not in memory of St Patricks day past... but because I like the "oiresh" accent... I have been feeling for a while that I am living my life like a stone skipping across water... as I get older I spend less time in contact with the water and more time whizzing through the air... so this is a splash down moment for me where I sit at the comp and take stock, who knows when or where the next quiet time will be...it's 5.30 in the morning.. I think you get the idea that these early mornings are my only quiet times... I'm listening to my fridge click and tick.. I think it is dying.. as it is about 30 years old it's probably creaking with old age... it's getting harder and harder to be "uppie" these days and I put this down to general decay which means the loss of life force.. this is not a concern just a reality of life that needs adjusting too... swimming has been it's usual summer intrusion though the last regional meet was yesterday and I have one more national meet to attend and thats the finish for this summer season... though the national one is a four day event next week... I am also training for my next marathon (29th April) and feel in pretty good shape for it... I'm sitting here typing to you all and waiting for the sun to come up so I can get on with my 20k training run this morning.... the last thing I have been doing is gathering firewood an annual event with severe physical consequences... not only have I been supplying myself and the mother inlaw but the mother inlaw asked me to supply the lady in the wheelchair across the road ... then people at work asked for some... I have been feeding firewood into nine households... luckily I have been doing it at work and with work paying for the petrol for the chainsaw... also I have had the use of a Bush saw.. this is a saw with a 40 inch bar.. to give you ladies an idea of what this means... this is sort of like having sex with a man with a 12 inch cock... as those of you lucky enough will know... that is some serious penetration... with a saw this size I have been cutting an eighty year old pine logg at home that stands chest high and slicing off rings with one cut... it saves alot of time... as you can see by the sexual reference there is still a bit of uppie in the old dog yet... I ache all over.. some are good aches ie muscles worked hard and gaining strength and others are the aches of failing joints... but all in all... it's good to be me and it's good to know you all...
Bye for now... and please send money not good wishes as my gambling has not been paying lately.............. Uppie

Kilobytes of time....

Here it is 15 seconds of uppie waffling on tape.. good luck with it as I understand the last one was garbled by computer hickups... it's about my new BBQ.. for those of you who do not have any decent weather it's a cooking device for outdoors... this sucker is a stainless steel, six burner, plus pot burner, two grills and a hot plate, spit turning, four wheeled hooded cooker that could singe half the beef of Texas in one go... I'm very proud of it... so far alI I have cooked are four mince patties... they looked very lonely out there ...(I only fired up two burners).. anyway the reason I am so proud is that it retails for $800 dollars and I got it for $200... reason being it was dropped by some idiot and the frame that holds it to the cabinet got bent... ten minutes of panelbeating and it was all fixed... thats all for now...
uppie looking for a dead cow to singe over and out...

Um, uppie? NEVER use that font-color again! NEVER!

Greetings to all on a very chilly late summer morning in New Zealand.. as you can see from the font I am not on my home computer.. the crappy work font has no "uppie orange"... the jug is boiling and soon I will be tucking into a hot cup of tea and toast... however to business..

A day or so ago I attended my last school swimming champs... as the triplets are in their last year of school... next year means either university or work for them... the age range at the school is from 12 right through to 18... so from children to young men and women... some of the big girls are wearing bikini's so skimpy they'd have to shave dam hard just to put them on... poor old uppie... lucky with my involvement in swimming I'm rather hardened to the flesh fest.. but these bikini's were a crotch to far...

As for results the triplet boy won all five of his races and will get his name on the honours board in the school hall and he won the backstroke cup... the triplet girl won all five of her races and so gets the honours board thing... the less competitive triplet girl came second or third in all her races as she is in the same races as her sister... the girls are also part of the school house relay team which holds the Junior girls record the intermediate girls record and after the last champs they now hold the senior girls record in the 4x33 and1/3 yard relay... this record should stand for along time.... I'm sort of glad that the school thing is almost over but also sort of sad ...

One last interesting thing that happened to me last night at swimming club... I was sitting on the bench at the end of the pool timekeeping... and this young girl about 13 very attractive blond girl... comes over and sits beside me... and I mean beside... shoulder to shoulder and thigh to thigh... and starts chatting away to me.. all very nice.. but I was most uncomfortable.. obviously nothing sexual.. but dam I don't sit that close to my wife... let alone some dam girl/woman... anyway when I got up to take the time of the swimmer in my lane I sat back down a good eight inches away from her... I think she got the message..

Cheers for now Uppie

I'll have some crazy weirdo nurses, please....ya bugger!

Good evening... it's hard to know where to start really.. might as well start with Mother.. I got phonecall from my sister asking me to ring... which means trouble... so it was not unexpected when she told me that our Mother was very ill... getting quality information out of her was quite difficult.. so I rang my father to see what the story was... she had cellulitis which, before all you women grab your hips, has nothing to do with fat... it's an infection that gains entrance to the body via a cut and causes blood poisoning... and if it gets into your bones you are really in trouble... anyway this I found out later.. she had been in and out of the doctors taking anti biotic pills and getting injections of the same... this had been going on for two weeks... she had also had an xray which showed the infection had not reached the bones in her foot... anyway when I spoke to dad it was saturday afternoon... he told me she was bed ridden and not eating or drinking... I told him to ring the ambulance and get her into hospital... to which he replied that she did not want to go... my advice was get my brother stand around her bed and don't leave untill she goes to hospital... sigh... the next day we all traveled down to New Plymouth to see what was happening.. when we got there we found her virtualy delerious... it was really worrying as when people get close to death thats how they behave... but as sad as it was and worrying she was really funny... she was trying to convince us that she was fine and kept trying to get out of bed.. insisting that she wanted to go home... as she was hooked up to drips, catheter etc.. this was not a good idea.. dad was mad because he would not listen to her... the nurses were all crazy and weirdos..."they're mad" she said "they're mad".. this went on all day... one thing that I pointed out to the kids later was that she was unfailingly polite saying please and thankyou whenever the nurses did anything for her.. even though she had just been commenting adversely on their mental faculties... the worst word she used was bugger... the only food we could get into her all day was about six spoons of jelly... and even then that was done by using her delerium... she refused anymore after every spoonful but then forgot so we spooned in another... good news though she recovered relatively quickly.. and is now back at home recovering her strength...
as for me I am really busy with swimming.. and this weekend I'm referee at the New Zealand Juniors which is my first national referee appointment... wish me luck and I'll catch up with you all soon as I have a work tale to tell you which also stressed me out over the christmas period...
Cheers Uppie Your Chat God... (retired)

If a tree falls in New Zealand, .... does it go up or down?

Good morning to you all... my captive audience.. the readers of my own private blogg I have to assume that most of you listen... because the mail does not come back.. however it would be nice to get a signal from some of the long lost contacts... heaven forbid that we would ever start conversing in real time again.. but some of you have been silent for over two years now.. surely there is something I have said that could have shocked you into hitting reply... ok to todays update... not much happening here... however we are now in the third day of a summer storm that has destroyed one of my biggest trees .. it broke in the middle and when it came down it took out two smaller ones... and another big one has been damaged beyond repair and will have to go... the wind is blowing and the rain coming down as I type.. if this keeps up for much longer I'll have no trees left...

cheers from a whimpering uppie

water + laptop = 3-4 day holiday!!!

As some of you will be aware I have been away for the last four days at the Waikato Swim Champs.. this is a regional competition involving about 260 swimmers... swimming in seven sessions over four days.. It was my first time as Meet Director.. this is the person who runs the show and makes all the decisions regarding the meet process, structure and swim rules.. It's a high preasure job but boy it makes the time fly by... dealing with the ego's of some 50 or so officials and in fact just arranging their schedules and getting them poolside was very trying... the equipment went well.. we run all electronic timing with three laptops and an electronic rear projection scoreboard.. two of the laptops are brand new as is the scoreboard... and a configuration problem with the laptop controling the scoreboard caused alot of grief in session three.. being Meet Director means holding alot of meetings with coaches, team managers and officials... and trying to think of everything...but telling people what to do comes naturaly for me... uppie looks over his shoulder to see if the wife is peeking.. the meet is held in Hamilton which means staying over in a motel.. the plus side of this is that Hamilton has a casino... and you all know my love of gambling... luckily I won a thousand dollars on a pokey machine with this cash in my pocket I then went and played Texas Holdem.. cards is something I really enjoy... and won another one hundred and thirty dollars... I would have played all night but I had to get up for swimming early next morning .. the winnings meant it was an all expenses paid weekend with a little left over for frivilous expenditure... and I did not have to tap into my savings account... I only have one girl who swims competitively now and she won a silver and two bronze medals.. to give you an idea of the level she swims at.. the girl who got gold in her agegroup.. is a new Zealand squad member and only fractions of seconds away from qualifying for the Commenwealth games.. hmmm what else.. well it's raining here and I am on holiday for the next three or four days so maybe I'll go back to bed and snooze..
greetings to all Uppie

...fraught with thought, our little upaut...

Yanno watching the developement of my teenagers sexuality has become more fraught... with what is it fraught I hear you ask... buggered if I know I'm just fraught... It's not so bad folding the washing and dealing with the "big girl" bras.. the wife is not big... even the skirts and tops that I wouldn't dress a slut in.. yanno well I am old... you even expect to find condoms in the big boys room .. after all he is 19.. even if he is a 19 year old dickhead... but finding a condom in my daughters hipster jeans... well at least it was not a used one ... did I scream "you slut you are destroying the family name"... nope... I swallowed hard and calmly advised them that condoms are not a very good method of contraception.. 60% sucess rate.. blah blah go to the doctor blah blah... I got a good explanation for it's presence.. "it's not mine it's Monique's... I was just minding it for her" ... if you say so girl.. the other thing that is disturbing are the Cleo's the girls are reading... I remember Cleo.. pretty racy stuff in my day .. but full of good sexual advice for young girls.. well hell I had a read.. Oh My God really it is just porn for girls... the sealed section on orgasms was not so bad though it made me cringe.. but the short stories featuring casual sex with strangers for kicks !!! bumping into a man on the subway and casualy fucking him when the lights go out.. this is not safe sex girls....

one last thing while bemoaning this to cuddly.. she informed me that condoms "fall off" how does this happen ... they always seemed a little tight to me... also and this was new knowledge for uppie.. they can get lost up there.. and women go to the doctor to get them removed... ok girls this is confession time... have you ever lost a condom... hmmm... just where the hell do they go... or if you have any good condom stories please feel free to share them with us all...

Cheers Uppie... fraught