(8) Oh yes, they call him The Streak.... lookeedat lookeedat (8)

I'm sure this will amuse some of you... please excuse the change of font due to critical comments to my former script it will now be known as my orange period.... this I feel is a more mature blue.. I was watching a programme last night about psychopaths... they were described as having an enlarged idea of their own importance in the world and said to be impulsive, egocentric etc I think you get the idea... if I was not so confident of my ability and my place in the scheme of things I would indeed be squirming in my brain case... this is not the reason for my visit to your inbox... at work... our factory being a shift work operation has all the facilities of everyday living including showers to die for with endless hot water... my habit has been to roll out of bed bleeraly drive the car to work and the first order of the day is a lovely shower... needless to say .. but say it I will... other workers have a similar routine.. as our facilities are multi or indeed any sexed there is a bit of timing involved... I'm usualy there first followed by a couple of women... well the other morning I was a little late and had just exited the shower into the curtained off dressing part of the bathroom.. when swish went the curtain and my wife was not the only woman to see me naked that day... apologies were profuse however what makes a woman when she sees a naked man focus on the waist level down part of the anatomy... sheesh if I'd known I was going to be on display I would have prepared... this brings to mind an interesting experiment carried out where they tracked the eye movements of women and men when shown nude pictures of members of eaches oposite sex.. they found to their suprise that men looked at the faces first then checked out the breasts and genitals... women however went straight to the package then as an afterthought would check out what the man looked like... you women are sooo shallow...

If a tree falls in the forest, does Uppie wipe his ass with it??

My dial uppie is getting worse... apart from not being able to e-mail video's of myself... (mayhap this is a good thing)... oh and not being able to start a new discussion in the Bootery... (MSN freezes and then shuts down everytime I try)... it seems now I can no longer post replies in Bootery discussions... (I can hear Jerks WOOT from here)... it seems my last avenue of blah blah... is the good old Uppiedate... well readers let me tell you in the words of Sherl Crow... (yanno how she informed us that we could all wipe our asses with one square and three squares in those pesky times...) Well I have been having a pesky time and it has taken three pinetrees to maintain uppies personal hygiene... you really know you are in trouble when your flatulence gurgles... maybe you women poop yourselves in a more delicate manner but I have never known a time when one square would come even close doing the job required of it... If this is what it takes to save the planet... well I'm sorry Bangladesh you're fucked...

Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative...

People or should I say colours and fonts... the statement was... "This is for all and none of you".. which really means I only type this stuff for myself... oh and for my number one fan Diego... by the way Diego your woman finaly added me to her messenger... she is the only fresh meat I have had for a while.. I'll try not to chew with my mouth open...

It's funny really how we look at ourselves and how other people look at us... I know I have been rather maudlin lately... maudlin meaning a moaning, whiney bastard... I think it I have the reason worked out... It's because I'm seeing myself differently... I'm not even seeing myself as others see me... what I'm seeing I'm seeing is rather scary... my daughters have been taking photo's of me with the digital camera and I have clicked a couple myself... I do not remember getting old.. but it seems I am... and rather horribly old... I think I thought I would be like other lucky people you see who age and still look good... saddly this is not going to happen to me.... plus Mechanical who I no longer regard as intuitive said when I asked for an opinion on how I looked.. and shit dam I instructed her... not hinted instructed her to flatter me... she said "you don't look to bad for an old guy"..

FOR AN OLD GUY... at least she tempered the insult with guy instead of man... thats like telling a woman she is obese but at least not morbidly... but it's true I am old and I do not regret it... it's just that it sorta crept up on me and I am still absorbing... I'll soon be back to normal... but an Uppie with out arrogance and ego is a rather flacid and flatulant thing...