If a tree falls in the forest, does Uppie wipe his ass with it??

My dial uppie is getting worse... apart from not being able to e-mail video's of myself... (mayhap this is a good thing)... oh and not being able to start a new discussion in the Bootery... (MSN freezes and then shuts down everytime I try)... it seems now I can no longer post replies in Bootery discussions... (I can hear Jerks WOOT from here)... it seems my last avenue of blah blah... is the good old Uppiedate... well readers let me tell you in the words of Sherl Crow... (yanno how she informed us that we could all wipe our asses with one square and three squares in those pesky times...) Well I have been having a pesky time and it has taken three pinetrees to maintain uppies personal hygiene... you really know you are in trouble when your flatulence gurgles... maybe you women poop yourselves in a more delicate manner but I have never known a time when one square would come even close doing the job required of it... If this is what it takes to save the planet... well I'm sorry Bangladesh you're fucked...