Cheery Mistmas, Mate!

Christmas salutations...

even though it is boxing day... for many of you I know it will be the lords day... though I'll bet mammon has had a good thrashing as well... firstly I must apologise for being absent from your in box's for such a long period... many of you will roll your eyes at my hubris... but ever the arrogant I will continue... because some of you rely of my drivel to provide bonhomie and meaning into your empty lives (thinking of you Diego)... what's been happening .. I just cannot seem to make the drivel flow at the moment.... so I am going to wish you all the best and leave it at that.. I will attack the keyboard in the near future and let you know all the good and bad of my life .. thank you Maureen for the card it made me smile and touched my soul.. you will not believe this but I picked out a card for you... then went to find your address and a churlish wife had destroyed it... so now I have it again and I promise to use it twixt now and next christmas as for the rest of you... it's about money and bling people... I want my wallet touched harder than my soul... take care and put me on block now as more of this will be hitting your mail boxes shortly...

Ruh roh?

Good morning ... let me tell you about my day.... for some reason I volunteered to do some extra mural study... called a Diploma of Manufacturing Management... this involves four two day block courses ... two assignments and a project.... just why oh why I am torturing myself with this Dean does not know... Uppie "says what do you think you are doing stupid" ... well anyway every couple of weeks I get rental car and drive an hour to Hamilton for the block courses... I have and still do occasionally, suffer from migraines which range from three day annoying aches controllable with pills and more annoying than debilitating to full on vomiting, head blasting and blinding episodes which make you want to die... the thing is and this is the sad part for me in my situation.. is that you do get warning... you can feel them coming on hours before crunch time.... crunch time meaning when it is so bad you are no longer able to function... however it has been so long since I have had a bad one that I have not been religious about taking my medication with me at all times... and I left my money behind...
When I woke up yesterday I could feel it lurking around in the back of my head... but so often does it fade away again with a nice shower and some meditation... what I do is stand in the shower with my face in the water stream... and picture the pain being absorbed by the water and flowing down and into the drain... sounds weird I know... but then I am weird... let me tell you it works... so ok I get to Hamilton the room is hot and stuffy.. we are doing graphs, maths and statistics... by lunchtime I am concerned... I tried to get some drugs from the receptionist... I knew it was futile.. as the company has a policy of not stocking any pills... I was very polite but inside I was screaming... "ok I'll just go away and fucking die in a corner"...
by the end of lunch I knew I was in for trouble and made my excuses and left... by the time I had collected the rental from the car park and was on my way... I was ready to vomit... now let me tell you vomiting out a car door while you are waiting for a green light is not the best... to avoid this I pulled into a car park area.. sat for a while and the feeling went away... this was my first and fatal mistake.. I should have got out and made myself throw up...
Patience uppielytes I am getting to the good part... I got out of the city into a rural area and was looking for a place to stop and be sick.... when "rut roh"... needless to say I did not make it.... and vomited all down my front, on the seat, the steering wheel and the door of the car.... (insert fuck fuck fuck in here..) I drove on another mile or two to a lay-by and got changed... luckily I had spare clothes... I am a very organised person... I put my jacket on the floor of the car so that I did not have to drive with my feet in vomit and continued... the trouble is by this stage my vision is buggered my head is exploding and I have to stop and dry retch half a dozen times on the way home... at one stage I almost gave up as I almost could not drive... every truck that came towards me was an invitation ... one swerve of the wheel and lets finish this... the one hour journey took me three hours...
and when I got home I spent the rest of the afternoon and evening sleeping which is why I am awake at half past one in the morning typing this... one last thing... my wife bless her (may I never be unfaithful in body, soul or mind)...ok ok will body and soul be good enough... well anyway she cleaned up the car for me... it's still a little pongy but lets hope the rental people do not get too pissy about it all...

Cheers Uppiedoodle (that's what Mech calls me when she is horny) snicker snicker Ruh roh

You can give toilet paper to a monkey but he will still throw shit anyways...

It's past midnight here... and this is the first Uppiedate I have written since I downloaded the new MSN Hotmail and well... woot it has auto spell check.. now that is handy.. it will reach me to spell American style while I type a load of shit... as I said it is past midnight and am now regretting the afternoon nap I had that lasted a couple of hours... Life is passing me by I know this because I have a calendar at work where I record all the stuff that I do.. and I can tell you that I have not run for four months.. so yesterday I ran 10 k's ... today I am sore but it is a good sore... and I look forward to more of the same... my biggest problem in life is boredom... no it's not my biggest problem is my empty wallet syndrome... which leads to boredom because of the lack of money to do anything... seriously I have no debt... the mortgage is paid off... my wife and I earn reasonable money... yet we are not living comfortably... if this is as good as it gets.. then it is not very good.. at least a life of crime would lessen the boredom and enhance the lifestyle... yet I enjoy most of what I do... it just seems I am waiting for death... I have just read what I have written and it seems I am rambling ... am I losing my mind as well as my sanity... this is something I am sure Diego will appreciate... Shauna type me some stuff and make me feel better... Janice I loved the picture of you in Ibeza you looked so fit and healthy... Fluffy if you have all my "uppiedates" on file can you send them too me............... umm ... ummm Smiley lid where are you.... sigh...
Cheers Uppie

Up(pie)load

Good evening... I say this as yes it happens to be evening... I am going to express a little frustration... though hopefully I will not sound whiney and pathetic... because even though Jerk no longer recieves my Uppiedates (at his rather blunt request) I did take his critique to heart.. nothing is worse than a whiner...
I have a machine in the corner of my dining room that gives me access to all the accumulated knowledge of the entire history of the human race... I can ask it any question... search for any one piece of information... research any topic... seek any opinion.. it is the single most important invention since man learnt how to make use of fire... yet I have no time to use it... The promise of all our modern technology was to free us from the drudgery of everyday life... to give us the gift leisure time to do the things we wish to do.... however the opposite is the case.. even though I enjoy being busy... there is something wrong with modern life..
Because of my internet connection being slow... most net sites do not work within my internet time limits... If I have to wait five minutes for every window at a site to load and open.. there is just no point in logging on... funnily enough it is the big reason I chat.. because i can shoot the breeze with people while I wait for windows to load... sigh..
Enough... enough already with the whining... things are great down here... the winter is more of a late autum and early spring with no winter in between... drown you Bangladeshy losers... put your houses on stilts and learn to drink salt water you Tokeloan tossers... down here in New Zealand we are going tropical... soon we will not have to holiday in Fiji... again New Zealand is Gods Own Country... and no you cannot come here.. there is no more room...
Cheers Uppie

wholly wholly wholly wholly wholly crap!

A little drama in my world recently.... I was sitting at my desk at work... it's 6.30 in the morning and I am having a cup of tea and toast while reading the paper as you do.... the phone rings and it is my wife.. for her to be ringing me instead of being tucked up in bed as is her wont at this hour of the morning means it has to be bad news... The bad news is that my daughters boyfriend has been involved in a car accident earlier that morning and is seriously injured in hospital...I informed my wife that I had heard on the radio on my way to work the details of this accident and that the passenger had been killed... obviously the next thing to find out is whether the passenger was my daughter or not... she was not answering her phone.. the police would not give us any details.. so I spent the next hour waiting to find out if my daughter was dead or not... fortunately she is not... however it was a very stressful hour which took me a couple of days to recover from... just proving that... well... almost every trivial detail in life does not mean shit when compared one major event... the boyfriend is going to recover... saddly he'll have to live with the fact that his driving has killed another person... I just hope my daughter does not have to live with it...

Regrets? .. I've had a few....

Well... here I am and yes it has been a long time... not long enough for some of you... this I know.... as I do understand that I make some people uncomfortable... as you all know things that happen to us in life are not always good and not always bad... most of life is just sheer boredom punctuated by sex, food ... and.. I'm having trouble thinking of anything else... terror comes to mind.... death... thats it sex,food and death... not often our own thankfully...
The point is when I talk to you about the things happening in my life it does not mean I am sad,happy,depressed or manic... it's just whats happening and my spin on it...
Along those lines... I have worked 23 out of the last 25 days I had yesterday off and will be working another 8 days before I have another day off... Yesterday I put the scissors through my credit card... Yes the two are related... I am on pay plus pay and a half at the moment.. in other words I get payed if I work or not.. and when I do work I get time and a half for every hour I work ... as the plant cannot run without me I have my boss over a barrel and am extracting my pound of flesh.... the credit card thing is not so bad.. I only got it as a tempory measure but I have found that it is too easy to use and with my gambling addiction it has become to easy to waste money...
There are times yanno when you have to take stock of your life and take action... it is no use prevaricating.. if things are not right fix them... I have found recently with the children at University that the demands on my time and money have grown to a tipping point... consequently I have stopped running... handed in my resignation as a swimming Referee... cut my credit card in half... and am raping and pillaging the overtime at work... you will have noticed... well those of you who have kept the faith and still talk to me that I have trimmed down my net time... I still have warm and generous thoughts about all of you even you Jerk and I miss some of you terribly..... especially Smiley Lid... but I do know that all of you are in the same boat as me... life is so much shorter (yes we are old) and busier... but it is also better.. I have more worry than I have ever had... I am working harder than ever (not just at work)... but I have more satisfaction and contentment than I ever have... maybe I was just a sad bastard when I was young who knows and who cares... I do know I was a sad bastard... with more emphasis on the bastard..
I was reading an artical the other day written by a woman in her 70's on being old... one thing she said that resonated with me... "there are things I no longer have in my life, things I used to love doing, like sex... but it is not to be mourned"... thats a great way to live..
I was looking at baby photo's of my children... well baby and up to intermediate school age.. thats 12 to 13 for you lot... and I wondered why they had to grow up.. the thought that came to mind was "that they were so much more controlable back then"... you fed them, put them to bed and sent them to school.... it's the loss of control that irritates... another thing not to be mourned...
They are all doing well at University getting merits for assignments and A's for exams... hopefully that will continue... I have been enrolled by work in a Diploma course entitled "Manufacturing Management"... something I have no interest in.. but if it makes the boss happy I will do it.. and I know I will enjoy the process...
I was going to tell you some other more meaningfull stuff... but it's half 2 in the morning and my brain is slipping cogs... I must get a notebookand write my ideas down... never mind you are my captive audience and you know I will be back..
Cheers Uppie

(8) Oh yes, they call him The Streak.... lookeedat lookeedat (8)

I'm sure this will amuse some of you... please excuse the change of font due to critical comments to my former script it will now be known as my orange period.... this I feel is a more mature blue.. I was watching a programme last night about psychopaths... they were described as having an enlarged idea of their own importance in the world and said to be impulsive, egocentric etc I think you get the idea... if I was not so confident of my ability and my place in the scheme of things I would indeed be squirming in my brain case... this is not the reason for my visit to your inbox... at work... our factory being a shift work operation has all the facilities of everyday living including showers to die for with endless hot water... my habit has been to roll out of bed bleeraly drive the car to work and the first order of the day is a lovely shower... needless to say .. but say it I will... other workers have a similar routine.. as our facilities are multi or indeed any sexed there is a bit of timing involved... I'm usualy there first followed by a couple of women... well the other morning I was a little late and had just exited the shower into the curtained off dressing part of the bathroom.. when swish went the curtain and my wife was not the only woman to see me naked that day... apologies were profuse however what makes a woman when she sees a naked man focus on the waist level down part of the anatomy... sheesh if I'd known I was going to be on display I would have prepared... this brings to mind an interesting experiment carried out where they tracked the eye movements of women and men when shown nude pictures of members of eaches oposite sex.. they found to their suprise that men looked at the faces first then checked out the breasts and genitals... women however went straight to the package then as an afterthought would check out what the man looked like... you women are sooo shallow...

If a tree falls in the forest, does Uppie wipe his ass with it??

My dial uppie is getting worse... apart from not being able to e-mail video's of myself... (mayhap this is a good thing)... oh and not being able to start a new discussion in the Bootery... (MSN freezes and then shuts down everytime I try)... it seems now I can no longer post replies in Bootery discussions... (I can hear Jerks WOOT from here)... it seems my last avenue of blah blah... is the good old Uppiedate... well readers let me tell you in the words of Sherl Crow... (yanno how she informed us that we could all wipe our asses with one square and three squares in those pesky times...) Well I have been having a pesky time and it has taken three pinetrees to maintain uppies personal hygiene... you really know you are in trouble when your flatulence gurgles... maybe you women poop yourselves in a more delicate manner but I have never known a time when one square would come even close doing the job required of it... If this is what it takes to save the planet... well I'm sorry Bangladesh you're fucked...

Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative...

People or should I say colours and fonts... the statement was... "This is for all and none of you".. which really means I only type this stuff for myself... oh and for my number one fan Diego... by the way Diego your woman finaly added me to her messenger... she is the only fresh meat I have had for a while.. I'll try not to chew with my mouth open...

It's funny really how we look at ourselves and how other people look at us... I know I have been rather maudlin lately... maudlin meaning a moaning, whiney bastard... I think it I have the reason worked out... It's because I'm seeing myself differently... I'm not even seeing myself as others see me... what I'm seeing I'm seeing is rather scary... my daughters have been taking photo's of me with the digital camera and I have clicked a couple myself... I do not remember getting old.. but it seems I am... and rather horribly old... I think I thought I would be like other lucky people you see who age and still look good... saddly this is not going to happen to me.... plus Mechanical who I no longer regard as intuitive said when I asked for an opinion on how I looked.. and shit dam I instructed her... not hinted instructed her to flatter me... she said "you don't look to bad for an old guy"..

FOR AN OLD GUY... at least she tempered the insult with guy instead of man... thats like telling a woman she is obese but at least not morbidly... but it's true I am old and I do not regret it... it's just that it sorta crept up on me and I am still absorbing... I'll soon be back to normal... but an Uppie with out arrogance and ego is a rather flacid and flatulant thing...

......

blah blah blah blah democratic blah blah dee blah blah principles blah diddy blahblah resolution blah blah blah blah BLAH BLAH blah blah committee blah ..... blah blah blah issue

Seriously, wtf....

I must apologise to my public... yes.. "my public" ... thats the two or three of you who read and respond to my diatribes... hang on while I reach for the dictionary... hmm "speech or writing that makes an angry attack on someone"... I was just intending to check the spelling ... mayhap I cannot use that word to describe my musings as the angry attack is usualy directed at myself... but then I spose by definition I am "someone" ... OMG am I sounding like MBA Mechanical Intuitive... someone from the Bootery shoot me... Goo Goo as soon as you finish off Diego I have another target for you... this one pays better...
Shit dam but my connection works really well at two in the morning... click click click I go flying around the net... hang on I have written a whole paragraph of crap and not gotton to the point... but then again I have lived for 47 years and not gotton to the point of that either... and I re read my last uppiedate .. sorry about the spelling mistakes... it was St Bedes by the way not St Bebes... ahh yes the apology... the apology was for.... hang on... yes it was for not putting enough effort into my Uppiedates.. then again you lot.. I'm not speaking to you Diego you get top marks... you lot do not put much effort into your replies... I always seem to be penning (good word that) cause keyboarding just does not fit...though the spelling is a result of keyboarding.... yes penning my missives when I am tired, lonely and depressed.... this does not result in good entertainment... by the way I am any one of the above at any time but it gets really shitty if all three coincide... well not shitty for me but the wife gets top marks for coping...
ok yesterday and it is only yesterday by 2.5 hours... I spent about six hours splitting firewood.... this put the wife in a really good mood.. such a good mood she took her own pjama pants off... rather than me having to drag them off and her being recalcitrant... there must be something in a man working himself into an early grave that women find attractive.. cause I tell you as I usualy do because I'm a "telling you" sort of guy.... It's one of my worst faults.. that and garrulousness.. that means I tell you... alot... I had to each for the dictionary again... interesting fact... garrulity is a sign of old age... sigh.. I can never win..
After the mountain man firewood splitting I went for a run .. it was sposed to be 20 k's but ended up 10... and then crashed into bed early... and here I am tired but awake at two in the morning... I'll post some crap in the Bootery have a snack... there is no point hitting on the wife... two nights in a row is just not gunna happen... and then try and get some sleep...
I hope you find this an email worth opening and I wish quality time on all of you...
Cheers Uppie

AirUppie

Good evening to you all. As some of you might have noticed I have not been around for a week or so.. I have spent the last six days at the Youth and Opens swim meet in Christchurch which is an hour and forty minutes away by plane... It was an enjoyable week of no cooking, cleaning or children or wife... The Meet is for the top youth and Olympic level swimmers.. so lots of good swimming and good bodies in skimpy swim suits... the meet has and early moring session of two hours and an evening session of two to three hours... the rest of the day is free for drinking and gambling... both of which I indulged in to a greater or lesser degree.. oh yea I also did alot of running as I have a mrathon to run on the 28th of this month.... we stayed at St Bebes College which is a catholic highschool for boys... also staying in the same wing as us was a group of athetics kids 12 to 13... sixty of them half girls half boys... this made the ablution block which is unisex rather interesting... our group of four adults showered between 6 and 7 in the morning then the girls moved in and then the boys.... I was shaving at 6.30 one morning and two girls came in... they had no concerns at my presence but inquired as to if there were any boys in there... god dam I'm that old that young girls do not regard me as a threat... sigh...

My fellow travellers are aged, overweight and snore alot... another .. sigh... the only other thing of interest that happened was on the flight home....

pilot... "scuse me passengers but we have a noisy door"

me..... well did you not shut the fucking thing properly...

pilot... "it's not a problem we think the door seal has pinched on closing and we are going to descend to see if the noise reduces...

me.... yea right... you are worried that the door might be falling off and you are descending so we do not have explosive decompression if it exits the aircraft...

pilot... "the door is still noisy and we are going to divert to Wellington'

me.... "fuck we are in the shit"

we then started descending rapidly and we came in so hard and fast we bounced when we hit the tarmac.. for a nervous flier like myself this was rather discombobulating... however we spent half an hour on the ground and then were cleared to continue our journey...

so you still have me to contend with.... snicker snicker

Uppiecide

I was watching a documentary about a web site called ASH... dunno what the acronym stands for... but it was a website where people with mental health problems that have pushed them to the verge of suicide go to compare notes on the methods and results and possible bad outcomes of attempting suicide... it was really rather depressing.... with interviews with people who are seriously sad... in one aspect when you see how these people are living it sort of makes you appreciate your own miserable circumstances... the other side of the proverbial coin lying in the shit... is hey keep these people away from me... I don't see how I can help them and listening to them talk in depressed monotone about their misery is not helping me either... however one young lady made a comment that I really indentified with... After the litany of her troubles and recounting the three or four times she had attempted hari kari... she was asked whether she was now "comfortable with life"... she said...

"... I am never comfortable with life... but I have periods where I'm tolerant of it... "

Right on baby...

Just Do It

I write to you snuffling and coughing in the grip of a head cold... it has been an unusualy busy week for Uppie even by the standard previously established by Uppie's alter egos... Swimming Official Man.... Ponds Technician Man.... Union Executive Man... oh yea and dealing with Wife and Children as Family Man... I have not even been able to play at Chat God Man....
For the past five days I have been attending and working as a minor official at the National Age Group Champs... this is a ten session meet which is rather big... the competition is for the best 13, 14 and 15 year old swimmers in the country... also competing was the National Youth Team from Japan... the dress, grooming and deportment of this team was of a standard that should have been a wake up call to our swim teams to tidy themselves up... the discipline and organisation they displayed was extraordinary... they had a lovely grey uniform and on the first day they all wore white t-shirts.. and I mean everyone coaches, swimmers, team Managers etc.. day 2 pink t-shirts... day 3 light blue... the swimmers bow to the officials before the start of their races and their organised cheering was impressive with chanting and clap dancing that amused and had the Kiwi kids joining in and learning the moves... it made me realise that the Japanese are racially, physicaly and culturaly more than just foreign but so very different from the Kiwi "she'll be right" gumboots is best dressed attitude...
The Swim Meet is structured in a way that leaves a large gap between the morning and evening finals session so I took the opportunity to complete 15 k training runs in the breaks.. the day after the finish of the meet I traveled to Rotorua and ran a half Marathon (21 k's) this has been an exhausting schedule and I was looking forward to slumping into Ponds Technician Man and resting for a week or so... this however is not to be as we recieved word last night that my wifes sisters husband has died suddenly and we are traveling five hours today to Napier which is on the other side of our island and will be attending a three day Tangi... I am sick with the cold, aching from the run and very tired as a result of the swim meet.. this is all a ploy to get those of you who are suckers for a sob story to post money and naked pictures of them selves to cheer me up... ahh Jerk and Fiend.. the money will be fine... do not take the trouble with the pic's... anyway Fiend we have all already seen your hairy ass...
On a more serious note... the brother inlaw had an infected foot and delayed going to the doctor... as a consequence he ended up in hospital took a turn for the worse... his kidneys failed and he died... we are all at the age.. well most of us are... where our aging carcasses need care and attention, our imune systems are crumbling along with our looks and physiques... and at any time we can be a day away from dead and buried... so stop whining .. do it today ... and enjoy the time we all have left...
Thats the public service announcement for today... Cheers Uppie
oh yes if any of you women do want to do it today you have my contact details..

No cute little picture can best describe the revulsion of uppies "cute little fat roll"

Well the day has finaly arrived we have dropped off all the triplets at their various University dorms and the house is alot quieter ... It is rather strange to have that much less washing cooking and cleaning to do... as for shopping... well we never seem to need to buy food anymore... the other day after we had dropped off the first one in Auckland... I dished up dinner for six... it took me a wee while to remember why there was one meal left on the bench... this situation and the difficulty with proportion reduction when estimating the ingestion level of the remaining family members has made very good at rehashing left overs..
Also you would think with an empty house and hence an increase by over 99% in the level of parental privacy... that a little nookie would be in order... yanno.. being able to grunt and groan and make all the other noises of a carnal nature that children are not sposed to hear.. "sigh".. I spose it is a sign of age... hell apart from the obvious age deteriation.. I have a better body than I have ever had.. and because of my running am in better condition than ever... I am even growing a cute little fat roll..which I think is an exciting addition... Yet I have no one to have sex with... it's not as if I want a daily romp... once a month would be fine as long as it was worth the effort... no point getting sticky and sweaty.. if there is no "woo hoo that was great" at the end of it....
Thats enough to wet your appetite... I might give you the broken car rant and whine next... or .. well what ever springs to mind....
Arohanui... that means "big love" from Uppie

s.l.p.f.r.r.t.m.

I have enough material for several Uppie dates... the real problem is finding the time to pen one and remembering the info... lets start with Valentines Day... you know the day where all you women force us men to buy you stuff like chocolate, flowers and fluffy toys... now... when you are young and horny it seems like a good idea fifty bucks of crap gets you a good chance of sex... is that a good deal of what... however as time goes by it becomes more of a chore.. but wo betide the errant male that does not send the woman of his dreams... (oh hell no.. you do not send her flowers...) I mean the woman you are shacked up with... if she does not recieve flowers delivered to her desk... at work... in front of her workmates.. your name is mud for the week... and as for the sex that you are not getting anyway.. well now you do not even have the promise of sex... so I do the expected thing year after year just to keep the peace.. there was a time in my life when women sent me flowers... sigh..

Which brings me to the point... my daughter... the romantic one... the one I like to think is most like me... decided to cook her boyfriend a lovely valentines day dinner... on the menu was Chicken Ala Orange... she even laid out the table with candles and fragrent dried flower petals... she bought all the ingrediants for the meal.... problem was the receipe said chicken pieces not chicken chunks... and it is sposed to be a casserole... she asks me.. "whats a casserole".. so there I am rescuing her cooking disaster... it ended up stove top not casserole... just so her boyfiriend can have sex????... it ended up tasting only slightly disgusting.. and I'm sure he was able to force it down ... after all with my daughter as the desert he better be prepared to eat shit and die for her affections..

Rant over... Cheers Uppie

oh and mech wanted me to use the acronym slpfrrtm.. in this Uppiedate... it stands for.. fek I cannot remember... ahh yes... soft little pouchy fat roll round the middle... but thats another story...

Alama Mater

Well hell guys life is ticking by at a pace of one minute per second... if I'm not old already I soon will be... sorry to be nostalgic but I Iooked up my old school on the local Trade Me auction site which has an old friends site attached... I found two old high school classmates listed there and I wrote to both... I created my own profile and linked it to the old class photo's I found there... posted by one Delaine Proctor... Lots of old memories.. buzzing around my brain case and now I cannot sleep dammit... on Friday we take the first of the triplets to Auckland and deposit her into her University Dorm... and next week take the other two to Hamilton where they are to attend Waikato University... life is going to be real quiet round the old homestead... at least I still have the dog.. with all the less cooking, cleaning and running around that I will no longer be doing maybe I can finish the house off... I hope so.. as I'am tired of living with the house in an unfinished and run down state... sigh.. ahh well it is time for me to get back to bed... mayhap I'll slide by the Bootery and think of a novel way to slaughter Charmsie's ex boyfriend... for those of you who are not in the Bootery... he dumped Becca by texting her best friend and getting her to pass on the message... I can hear the sharp intake of breath and grinding of teeth of all you female members of Uppies clan... yes Becca is a tad pissed.. .. bye for now Uppie

Uppies State of the Union Adress

Good morning to you all... as most of you would know Uppie considers himself a minor philosopher and often ponders life the universe and women in particular.. you will have to forgive me refering to myself in the third person but there are two of us Uppie and me.. when our opinions converge I will use the royal "we"... anyway we were listening to the radio the other day.. it's a station called "National Radio" it is totaly funded by the government and therefore add free you can also get it on the net.. so if you want to hear weird New Zealand music and all the political and social comment totaly search it up and have a listen... they have an afternoon forum where a panel of minor celebraties yanno the type.. they think they own the world because they have been on TV... anyway there was this woman on who is a private detective... her claim to fame is that she featured in a tacky series sneaking around chasing wandering spouses.. now whenever the press want comment on the behaviour and sexuality of the unfaithful they refer to her and she opines in a way that demonstrates her way with crass.. she was whining about the lack of men her age (she is 53) who look after themselves physicaly and present themselves cleanshaven, tanned, taut and moisturized.. as she said she is single and looking... Well as you know my opinion of her is low.. I felt like screaming at the radio... "Darling" I say in a syrupy, faggoty way with a hint of k at the end... "darling, a well preserved, intelligent and loving man does not want a brassy, boosted. bo-toxed, big mouthed bottled blond with shriveled lips a heart to match and hip bones where her ass should be"... I think that about covers it all.. I like to make my rants short and sharp.. well thats my thought for the day... Enjoy your day no matter what happens... Salutations from Uppie and I... I'm the tanned taut etc etc he is the pig...